


Help me

by GoForGoals



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort, Escape, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Major Character Injury
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2020-05-19 10:54:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19355590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoForGoals/pseuds/GoForGoals
Summary: Loki can escape after Thanos attacked him but he is severely wounded. Who is able to rescue him?A very alternative version of the happenings in "Infinity War".





	1. Attacked. (Thor)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mariothellama](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariothellama/gifts).



> Dear readers, this is my first attempt to write a Loki/Thor story with more than one chapter. Feedback is always very welcome, but please be gentle with me. English isn’t my first language and I am new to the Marvel fandom. :-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Graphic depictions of an injury/wound.

"Loki! Nooooo!" Thor’s muffled cry rings in his own ears, deafening him, while Thanos attacks his brother. And Thor is forced to watch, bound and helpless.

Loki’s face turns pale at first, then somewhat bluish, and the God of Mischief is choking, desperately struggling to get some air into his lungs.

Thor however is almost paralyzed. He is sure that this time, Loki is going to die for good.

The God of Thunder feels a sort of despair he never felt before, frantically gazing around for any support, for an idea, for a ray of hope. Suddenly, he catches Clint’s gaze who stares at him, telling him something with his eyes.

_You got this. You are stronger than him. Do it._

Suddenly, an overwhelming amount of anger and rage builds up inside Thor. He can sense his blood boiling, his power flooding his every cell.

With a loud roar, Thor flexes all of his muscles - and bursts free. He breaks his restraints, electric sparkles spreading from his fingertips.

Thanos seems to be surprised for one single moment, finally letting go of Loki.

Thor uses the short second and darts to his brother, taking his violated body into his arms. He spits molten electricity on Thanos, protecting Loki for dear life.

Yet, he cannot prevent that Thanos takes a weapon, some kind of a gun, firing a bullet into their direction and hitting Loki directly into his chest.

Loki makes a horrible sound, too weak to scream, and gets limp in Thor’s arms.

To their utter luck, Clint used the moment as well, getting into a starship and maneuvering it between Thanos and Thor who is still holding Loki. "Get in there! Get the hell in!" Clint yells.

Thor doesn’t even know how he manhandles Loki on board of the ship, vision blurring. He pants and bends over his brother who is laying on the floor more dead than alive. "Loki!" Thor shouts, shaking his brother’s shoulders but the God of Mischief doesn’t respond.

Thor yells more words at him before he starts to sob. "You cannot leave me like this," he cries over Loki’s powerless body.

All of a sudden, Loki opens his bloodshot eyes, "I… won’t… leave you…," he says with effort.

"Loki!" Thor shakes in relief, "shhhh, don’t strain yourself, I’m here." He tries to bed Loki into a more comfortable position but his brother grabs his arm with a force Thor wouldn’t have awaited.

"You… have…. to remove… the bullet", Loki croaks out. He coughs vehemently and points at his chest.

"Listen, Loki, I can’t…" Thor starts but he’s immediately interrupted.  
  
"Get. It. Out!" Loki repeats urgently before he groans in pain.

"Clint!" Thor shouts to his friend, "where are we flying to? We need to see a doctor!"

"No doctor," Loki adds, voice dying away. "You. Now."

"We’re flying to my farm," Clint returns, "we should be there soon."

"It’s… too late then," Loki hisses, mastering all of his remaining strength. With a dull sound, he manifests a dagger in his hand. "Come on. Your chance. To stab me," he pants.

"Clint!" Thor exclaims again, heart beating loudly in his chest, "I’ll have to cut the bullet out. Can you keep the ship stable?" Thor freezes and sweats at the same time, tugging at Loki’s shirt and tearing it straight into two pieces in the attempt to remove it from his brother’s slim chest.

Loki closes his eyes, bracing himself. "Do it," he whispers.

Thor takes the dagger with trembling hands, staring at the bullet hole right below Loki’s collarbone.

"Thor." Loki encourages him, voice even weaker and more pleading than before.

Thor takes a deep breath and pushes the blade into Loki’s wound. It’s a horrible feeling and Thor almost chokes.

Loki inhales a sob, biting vigorously onto his lips, but he yells when Thor cuts deeper, finding the bullet.

"It’s almost done," Thor tries to soothe his brother, removing the dagger and pushing two of his fingers into the hole instead. He feels Loki’s flesh, warm and soft, blood flooding over his fingers. There’s another sharp scream but finally, Thor gets a hold onto the bullet and tugs it outside.

Loki shivers and shakes, hardly suppressing his shouts of pain.

Thor strokes Loki’s arm, full of adrenaline. "It’s over," he murmurs shocked.

Loki however shakes his head almost invisibly. "No. It has only just begun," he whispers and then, he passes out.


	2. Poisoned. (Loki)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to alternate the POVs - this chapter is told from Loki’s perspective. It’s again a bit shorter, but there will be longer updates. Please enjoy! :-)

Pain. 

Everywhere.

When Loki awakes, his body is on fire, especially his chest. He blinks several times until he remembers what happened, eventually noticing that he is still on board of a ship. 

"Loki?" He hears his brother’s breaking voice, finding himself bedded into Thor’s lap. "Loki, we’re almost there, Clint is taking us to his farm where you can get a rest. Just hang in, please!" 

There’s a tone in Thor’s voice Loki never heard before. Feeling Thor’s strong thighs underneath his head is strangely comforting but before Loki can think more intensively about it, another wave of ache shoots through his veins. 

"Hurting," he croaks out, embarrassed himself that he cannot say anything else. 

"I know," Thor replies, stroking over Loki’s hair. "Thanos shot a bullet into your chest but I removed it. I stabbed you, to be precise," he adds in the attempt to make a bad joke and to cheer his brother up. 

Loki tries a smile but he screws his face up immediately, the wound in his chest pulsing and burning. 

And then he understands. 

Thanos didn’t just fire a bullet into his direction, oh no. 

He poisoned him. 

There must have been venom in the bullet, Loki suddenly knows with a deadly certainty. He sucks air into his lungs and shakes, a single tear trickling down his cheek. 

He doesn’t want to die. 

"Loki, what’s wrong?" Thor says worriedly, "do you need painkillers? I’m sure that Clint…"

"Poison." Loki whispers, the six letters dripping from his lips like acid. 

"What do you mean?" Thor asks alarmed, "where is poison?" Loki can feel that his brother shifts his weight, apparently gazing around. 

"Not there." Loki croaks out. "Inside of me." 

 

***

 

The ship suddenly lands and although Clint places it rather gently onto the ground, Loki’s pain is intensified by the vibration. 

"I’ll carry you outside," Thor says with a breathy voice. Loki doesn’t want him to do that but he cannot walk on his own and so he just closes his eyes, groaning when Thor lifts him and brings him out of the ship. 

To his own surprise, Loki feels protected in Thor’s arms, pain fading. The ache is back however when Thor lays him down onto a bed inside the farmhouse. 

Clint comes into Loki’s sight of vision. "You can stay as long as you need to," he murmurs, "we are safe here. My wife and the kids are with her parents. They will be away for a while." 

Thor turns around, facing Clint. "Did you call him?"

"Yes."

Loki wants to ask whom they called but he manages nothing but a rattle in his throat. Luckily, Thor understands him nevertheless.

"Listen, Loki, we need a doctor. If there was venom inside the bullet, we need help. We couldn’t inform Bruce because… well, I was scared that he might turn into The Hulk while he is treating you." 

Loki’s head starts to spin but he listens to his brother as attentively as he still can. Even through his haze he has an idea what Thor wants to say. 

"There are not many professional doctors left among our… friends. And so we called Stephen. He will be here soon", Thor finishes, bending over his brother who still struggles with his hoarse throat. "Clint, could you please bring a glass of water for Loki?"

Loki hears the almost fond nuance in Thor’s voice, saying his name, and a slight feeling of confidence returns to his tormented body. 

"It’s. Okay," he pants, earning a raised eyebrow from his brother.

"You are not complaining?" Thor asks in disbelief.

"I’m. Dying." Loki retorts. 

Yet, he flinches in surprise when he senses that Thor takes his hand. "No, you are not. I won’t let you die, never again."


	3. Called. (Stephen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sitting at an airport right now with plenty of time to write while I’m waiting for my flight, so here’s already the next update. I hope that you will enjoy it!

The Hippocratic oath.

That’s the first thought that crosses Stephen’s mind when he receives Clint’s call.

Stephen has sworn the oath many, many years before. In a different, other life. Yet, he still feels bound to it. Even when a villain needs his help.

Yet, is Loki still a villain? Stephen doesn’t know and he doesn’t care. He’s a patient and he needs care.

Stephen is well aware that he cannot use the modern medical technology to treat the God of Mischief on the farm. He has to rely on more traditional methods, he thinks, while he packs his bags.

Poison. Of course. Stephen snorts while he carefully chooses drugs and infusions, syringes and dressings.

They would have to find out which venom is trickling through Loki’s veins. Luckily, Thor was clever enough to keep the empty bullet. But Stephen is sure of one thing: Thanos' venom is meant to poison Loki slowly, cruelly and thoroughly.

The doctor sighs when he closes the door behind him, carrying as much medical equipment as he is able to, Clint already waiting for him. They decided not to travel the fast way to not raise any suspicions.

Climbing right next to Clint, Stephen only asks one question: "How bad is it?"

 

***

 

It’s worse than he thought.

Loki is laying in the bed, hardly suppressing the pain that he must be feeling. His lips are bitten, his eyes bloodshot, and his hands are clenching the sheets.

Thor is standing right next to him, deprived of sleep, and in deep worries. In Stephen’s opinion, he has never looked weaker before.

Stephen doesn’t take the time to greet all of them personally, he opens his bag and bends over his patient, taking a lamp to check Loki’s eyes and reactions. "Can you hear me?" he asks in sync.

Loki lets out a pained groan and nods.

"I’ll check on your wound first," Stephen decides, folding away the light blanket and revealing a nasty hole in Loki’s chest. Thor has to avert his gaze, Stephen notices. "We’ll have to clean the wound," the doctor states after a closer look.

Loki whimpers and Thor turns around. "Please, Stephen, give him some painkillers, will you?"

"I can’t," Stephen replies, earning a horrified gaze from Thor. "I don’t know yet if the painkillers would intensify the effect of the venom," Stephen explains. "Clint, we need some towels and hot water."

The doctor opens his bag and gets a pair of gloves, antiseptic and gauze.

"Can you still do that… with your hands?" Thor asks.

Stephen shrugs. "That’s not precision work," he replies, "we have to rinse the wound to remove the last drops of the venom and to ensure a proper healing. By the way, where’s the bathroom?"

Thor points into the direction of a door and Stephen walks to the bathroom, washing his hands. When he returns, he slips into the gloves but he stops before he takes the other items.

"Hold his hand," he orders, gazing at Thor.

"What?" Thor croaks out.

"Sit down right next to him and hold his hand," Stephen repeats. There must be some authority in his voice because Thor obeys, hesitantly taking Loki’s hand.

Stephen can see and hear that Loki’s breath becomes ragged and he notices that the God of Mischief grabs Thor’s hand tighter, that Thor strokes over his fingers clumsily.

Then, he starts to work.  
  
  
***  
  
  
When he’s done, Loki almost passed out, Stephen addresses Thor who is as pale as his brother is. "Can you show me the bullet now, please?"

Thor hurries to nod. He wants to stand up but Stephen shakes his head. "Stay with him for a while," he says, "Clint can bring the bullet."

Clint walks away and returns with the bullet in a glass, presenting it to Stephen who inspects it closely.

In the meantime, Loki starts to groan again. "Hurts so much," he whimpers. His pained moan is all that Thor needs to finally freak out.

"I won’t let him die!" he shouts and Stephen can sense that the atmosphere around him gets loaded with electricity. "You might sit here and stare into a glass but I won’t. I will search for an antidote!"

No sooner said than done, Thor storms out of the room. The doctor can hear that Thor uses Mjolnir to fly away and he shakes his head. "You’re such a fool," Stephen whispers so quietly that no one else can hear him. " _You_ are his antidote, God of Thunder."


	4. Returned. (Clint)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback and please have fun with the next update!

It’s almost unbearable to watch and hear Loki like this, although he was such a villain in the past, killing and torturing people.

Clint listens to Loki’s moans coming from the room next door before he cannot take it any longer, walking outside and to his garden.

There, he finds Stephen, sitting on a bench and staring at the bullet in the glass.

"May I join you?" Clint asks and Stephen slips to the side, making way for him. "You know something, don’t you," Clint adds when he takes a seat, more a statement than a question.

"Yes, I do," Stephen replies, turning the glass in his hands. "But I cannot tell you or anyone else."

"I thought so," Clint says. "If you would explain it, it wouldn’t happen anymore, isn’t it so?"

Stephen nods.

"But there is a way to save him." Another sentence from Clint that isn’t a question.

"Yes, there is," Stephen confirms. He puts the glass away and gazes into the sky. "He’ll be back soon," he states.

"Thor?" Clint asks just to make sure. "I hope so. Loki needs him."

Stephen smiles. "That’s true," he replies, "but in the meantime, we have to take care of him."

"Why are you doing this?" Clint asks out of the blue. "He killed dozens of people, he tried to murder Thor several times. Why are you helping him?"

"Why are _you_ helping him, even letting him stay in your home?" Stephen answers with another question.

Clint shrugs. "He saved the Asgardians. And he tried to save Thor."

Stephen looks him straight into the eyes. "Maybe he will save even more people in the future. We can’t let him die."

Clint sighs and stands up. "No, we can’t.“

 

***

 

They return to Loki who lies helplessly onto the mattress, tossing and turning. He started to sweat, a rather thick liquid covering his body with a thin layer.

"Your body is trying to get rid of the venom," Stephen explains, "we’ll get a cloth to wash it away."

"Where’s. Thor." Loki pants, eyes big and wide while he tries to deal with the ache.

"He’s trying to find an antidote," Clint replies, bringing some washing mittens and a basin with water.

"He’ll be back soon," Stephen adds, grabbing a cloth and holding it into the cold water. He removes the blanket over Loki’s body and starts to wipe over his hot skin.

Loki bites onto his lips. "I’m burning. Alive," he manages to say.

Stephen nods. "It’s probably even worse because you are a frost giant. We’re trying to help you."

Loki swallows. "I know. Thank you," he breathes.

Clint takes a cloth himself and assists Stephen, running the wet mitten over Loki’s arms and legs. They only spare his wound and his private parts, covered by one of Clint’s briefs.

"Can you turn around?" Stephen asks, "so that we can wash your back as well."

Clint puts the washing mitten away. "I’ll support you," he states, "roll onto your side first." He feels pity with the God of Mischief who is clearly suffering while trying to shift his weight.

Finally, they manage to turn Loki around so that he is lying on his belly, a cushion underneath him relieving the pressure upon the wound in his chest.

Clint’s heart clenches when he sees Loki’s slim frame, the pale back and his chest that heaves in effort with every breath that he takes. Loki has his eyes closed, head turned to the side. His black hair is a sharp contrast to his pale skin and the white linen on the bed. Carefully, Clint dips the mitten into the water, about to continue with his task of washing Loki when all of a sudden a mighty voice startles him.

"Hand me the cloth. I will do it," Thor says, standing in the middle of the room like an ancient statue.


	5. Attracted. (Thor)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so happy about the positive feedback! Thank you so much - that’s what keeps me going. :-)

Clint lets the mitten drop and stares at Thor astonished. "Where have you been?" he asks.

"Doesn’t matter," Thor shrugs, taking the cloth. "What do I have to do?"

Stephen makes way for him. „Loki's body is trying to get rid of the venom, that is why he is transpiring this kind of sweat. We are washing it away to ease his pain."

"Good." Thor doesn’t say anything else, eyes glued to Loki’s back, his slim body that seems to disappear in the huge bed.

Loki still has his eyes closed but he inhales a deep breath when Thor places the wet cloth between his shoulder blades, gently stroking downwards.

Thor barely notices that Stephen gives Clint a sign and that they are leaving the room, so focussed on his task.

"I’ll take care of you," Thor promises hoarsely, squeezing the mitten over the basin and continuing to wash Loki afterwards. Loki’s skin is soft, paper-thin almost. Thor knows that he has never seen Loki that vulnerable before and he tries to touch him like china, with all the tenderness that is deep inside him.

"Thor," Loki murmurs. "It’s helping me."

"I won’t stop," Thor promises, taking a fresh cloth. He washes all of Loki’s back, counting his vertebrae, deep down to his tailbone. "Don’t get startled, I’ll remove the blanket," he announces, revealing Loki’s long legs.

Thor cleans Loki’s feet, his calves, the pit of his knees. He notices that Loki’s breath has become steadier, that he is able to get more air into his lungs. The God of Mischief even relaxes a little bit under Thor’s ministration.

"I’m sorry. That you have to do this. For me," Loki eventually croaks out.

"I’m not sorry," Thor replies immediately. "You tried to save me from Thanos, didn’t you?"

Loki makes an unintelligible sound, Thor’s hands still wandering over his body, back to his neck and down his spine again. There’s still sweat on Loki’s hollow back and Thor removes it softly, hesitating if he is allowed to go any further.

"You can do it," Loki mutters into the cushion. "I would do it myself but I am still too weak."

Thor smiles and gets a grip on the waistband of Loki’s briefs. He tugs them down a bit, revealing Loki’s perfectly rounded butt cheeks. They look so soft and enticing that Thor’s breath falters.  
  
Enticing…  
  
His gaze glued to Loki’s bare butt, Thor finally understands.

He understands when he feels the first reactions of his body and he knows for sure when he senses the reaction of his heart.

"No," Thor thinks, "no. This can’t be." He lets the cloth fall and turns around. "Loki…" he stammers, "I’ll be back in a minute." Then, he runs away from Loki, even fleeing him.  
  
Fleeing from his own emotions.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
Thor darts outside of the farmhouse - and straight into Stephen and Clint.

"Are you alright?" Stephen asks him, grabbing his arm. "What about Loki?"

Thor gazes at him alarmed, feeling caught in the act. "He’s…. better," he eventually says. "I will return to him, I just need a minute. Some fresh air."

Stephen looks at him with a knowing gaze.

"I think …that the washing is doing him good," Thor stammers through a weird explanation.

"Yes, of course," Stephen replies, still piercing Thor with his gaze. Clint looks at both of them, eyebrows frowned.

"Okay, I’ll go back to him then,“ Thor murmurs.

He takes his time to walk inside the house, frantically trying to grab a clear thought.

Loki.

His brother.

His _adopted_ brother.

Thor suddenly sees him with other eyes and he realizes that something is going on between them, probably already for a long time.

He pushes the door of Loki’s room open and takes a moment to look at Loki’s body, his elegant legs, his slim frame.

A body he desires.

Yet, this cannot be. Never.

"Loki," Thor says, "take a rest, you need to get some sleep."

Loki doesn’t say anything at first but he slowly turns around on his own, facing Thor. "I don’t need sleep," he replies, his eyes starting to glow again. "And you know that quite well."

Thor stumbles backwards. "I’ll take a shower. Or something," he brings out while he tries to deny the fact that Loki obviously sees through him, that he probably even has feelings for him too.

Thor turns around and runs away for the second time, not even taking care of Stephen or Clint. He swings Mjolnir and spirals into the air, high and higher, until he can hardly breathe anymore.


	6. Abandoned. (Loki)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry that this update took a while. I hope that you will like it!

Loki still can feel Thor’s touches upon his skin, the patterns he drew with the cloth. He’s not surprised that Thor ran away, because he himself needs time on his own as well.

Underneath all the pain and the despair, Loki feels another sensation. A sensation that is not less frightening.

He closes his eyes, wishing from the bottom of his heart that he would have someone to talk to. Frigga maybe. He misses his mother so much that it hurts.

Groaning, Loki tries to sit up in bed but his body is still betraying him. He can hardly suppress a scream when the pain shoots through him again. In despair, Loki punches the mattress, his hand helplessly falling down onto the sheets afterwards.

For the first time in years, he doesn’t know what to do next, hiding his face in his hands.

When he removes them, Stephen stands in the middle of the room.

"Doctor Strange," Loki pants surprised.

"Call me Stephen, please," the physician replies dryly. "The pain is returning?" he asks the obvious.

"Yes, probably because I’m sweating again," Loki manages to say.

Stephen lets him believe in that and Loki is utterly thankful for it. "Can I see the wound?" he asks instead.

With trembling fingers, Loki reveals his chest.

"The wound is still open," Stephen muses, "I wonder why it isn’t healing," he adds, sounding to Loki as if he would already know the answer.

"That’s… not a good sign," Loki states warily.

"I’ll clean the tissue again. And I think that I learned more about the venom," Stephen continues, preparing everything to treat Loki’s injury.

Loki doesn’t reply, too afraid of the procedure that is awaiting him.

"It’s not a traditional kind of poison," the doctor starts, dabbing antiseptic around Loki’s wound. "And it doesn’t affect only the body," Stephen finishes cryptically.

Loki is in too much pain to ask anything, inwardly pleading that the doctor would be done soon.

"By the way, you are really brave," Stephen states, "but I bet you knew that before." Loki almost gapes at him, watching Stephen slipping out of his gloves. "I cannot do much for you, we can just treat your physical symptoms. Cleaning the wound, washing the sweat away, monitoring you closely."

Loki has a fair clue what the doctor wants to tell him, but he doesn’t dare to even think about it. "Thank you," he says instead, screwing up his face because the ache returns with force.

"Painkillers wouldn’t be of use with this poison, but I can give you something to stabilize your circulation. I hope that it works for frost giants too", Stephen tries to help him.

Rummaging in his medical bag, the doctor gets an infusion. "That’s simple liquid to replace the fluid in your body that you lost because of the sweating," he explains. "That will do you good."

Briefly, the thought that something else - _or a certain someone_  - would do him good crosses Loki’s mind but he banishes that idea instantly. "Okay," he croaks out.

"Can I have your arm?" Stephen asks, taking Loki’s limb into his hand. He disinfects a vein there and brings a cannula into place.

"You’re a good doctor," Loki says quietly, flinching when Stephen pushes the cannula underneath his skin with one deft move.

"And you’re welcome," Stephen replies with a wink, connecting the cannula with the tube of the infusion. Letting the liquid slowly drip inside Loki’s system, he faces his patient again. "Do you feel any discomfort in your arm?" he asks but Loki shakes his head before he takes a heart.

"I feel discomfort because Thor is away," he admits.

Stephen is clearly surprised after that open revelation but Loki doesn’t say anything else, he just smiles melancholically.

Feigning to check on the cannula, Stephen briefly strokes over Loki’s hand. "Im sure that he won’t stay away for too long," he comforts Loki. "In the meantime, try to get a rest."

Loki nods and closes his eyes, the infusion calming him down more and more. He falls into a fitful sleep, dreaming of his family, of Odin and Frigga.

Dreaming of Thor.

Naked.

In his bed.


	7. Strained. (Clint)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry that this update took a while longer! It is a shorter chapter but more is about to come at the end of next week. Please enjoy! :-)

Clint sits outside the farmhouse in his garden, dark night all around him. Yet, with his sharp eyes, he sees Thor returning minutes before he lands right in front of him.

"Hey," Clint states casually, still hidden in the black of the night and well-knowing that he is startling Thor.

"Damn it!" Thor exclaims, flinching, "you frightened me!"

"Well, they call me 'Hawkeye' for a reason," Clint retorts.

Thor takes several deep breaths to get himself together but Clint doesn’t give him the time to do so. "You cannot run away from him forever," he says.

"I’m not running away!" Thor exclaims in anger.

"Okay, you’re _flying_ away," Clint states, "does that sound better? I don’t know what is going on here, but Loki needs you. He risked his life for you and now he is laying in the bed in pain. _He_ cannot run away like you are doing whenever it pleases you!"

Thor strengthens his shoulders. "I told you that I didn’t run away," he states, clearly in rage.

"What did you do then?" Clint persists. "Bringing away the laundry?!" As good as Clint’s eyes are, but he doesn’t see Thor’s punch coming. Thor pushes him forward until Clint almost stumbles but then he fights back, hitting Thor. "Man, are you nuts?" he yells to stop this sheer madness. If they start fighting each other, everything would be lost.

Thor raises his hands in defense and in shock. "I’m sorry!" he exclaims, "it’s just…." He apparently doesn’t find words to explain the state he is in but Clint doesn’t need to hear the words either. Eyeing the other one, they stand in front of each other, speechless and clueless about what to do next.

Luckily, Stephen saves them. "Thor, you are back!" he says, stepping out of the farmhouse. "Did you find an antidote?" Clint can hear the mocking note in Stephen’s voice. Of course Thor didn’t find an antidote and of course Stephen knew that before.

"No," Thor admits, gazing at his shoes embarrassedly. "How is Loki doing?" he finally asks.

"He’s…" Stephens starts but Clint eventually has enough.  
  
"He’s missing you and he doesn’t understand why you left him," Clint blurts out, these stubborn Gods or Half-Gods or whatever really straining his nerves.

"Oh," is all that Thor replies before there is silence between them, the chirping crickets the only noise outside - until a sharp cry cuts through the night.

"Loki!" Thor exclaims, darting into the house, Stephen and Clint on his heels. Clint is full of adrenaline until he realizes that Loki just had a bad dream.

Or a very vivid one.

The God of Mischief is shivering and shaking while Stephen checks on him. "I’m cold," Loki says miserably, "so freezing cold."

"You’re probably suffering from the next stage of the venom," the doctor says concerned, placing his hand upon Loki’s forehead.

"Please," Loki answers, teeth clattering, "can you give me some blankets? Or switch the heating on?"

Clint wants to go to the wardrobe to bring Loki a quilt but he stops his motion when Thor makes a sudden move - a move that comes completely unexpected to all of them.


	8. Warmed. (Loki)

Completely stunned, Loki witnesses how Thor pulls off his shirt, throwing it to the side, revealing his chest and abs. Loki’s gaze is glued to Thor’s skin, his muscles, his broad shoulders.

He wants nothing more than to be held in Thor’s strong arms, nestling into his touch, forgetting the world around him and his utter pain.

Swallowing, Loki sees that Thor gets rid of his socks and pants as well. He stares at more naked skin, at muscular thighs, at strong legs.

"I’ll warm you myself," Thor murmurs, lifting the blanket, about to slip under the cover right next to Loki.

But Loki suddenly knows that he cannot do this.

Not now. Not already.

"Get away from me!" he exclaims blindly.

Thor stops his motions, frozen in place. "Pardon me?" he says puzzled.

Loki however is so on the edge that he shouts more harsh words into Thor’s direction. "Don’t do that, I cannot stand your closeness! Just leave me alone!" He almost whimpers the last words but Thor shakes his head.

"No. I won’t go away," he replies stubbornly.

Loki is sobbing in earnest now, Thor standing in the room like a statue again. The God of Thunder doesn’t move but his facade starts to crumple. He worries his lip but Loki is too shaken to say or to do anything else.

It’s Clint who finally rescues the situation, much to Loki’s relief. "Why don’t we start a fire in the fireplace downstairs, letting Loki rest on the sofa there. That should warm him enough.“

"Yes," Loki whispers, "yes, please. I need to get out of this room." He groans, screwing up his face.

Thor looks at Loki, clearly musing about something. "Well then," he finally says, grabbing his clothes determinedly, "I will be the one to carry you downstairs."

 

***

 

Loki is too weak to protest when Thor picks him up from the mattress, cradling him in his arms. He feels alarmingly safe and protected and he closes his eyes in defeat, hissing with every step that Thor takes. Not because of the pain, but because of his rising panic.

He almost doesn’t feel any ache anymore with Thor so close around him. And he also isn’t cold any longer.

Loki knows what that means.

Thor beds Loki onto the sofa in the living room with a surprising tenderness, helping Clint to start the fire afterwards. As soon as Thor is a few steps away, Loki starts to freeze again although Stephen puts a blanket over him.

Taking a heart, out of pure despair and out of something Loki really doesn’t want to think of, he starts to speak. "Could you please return, Thor?" he croaks out.

Thor turns around and nods, clearly startled. He steps closer and sits down onto the carpet. "The fire should burn for some hours," Clint states, "I’m in the garden if you need me." Stephen joins him, leaving Loki and Thor alone in the living room.

There’s silence, a silence Loki needs to be able to form his next question. "Can you give me your hand?"

Slowly, Thor raises his hand until their fingers touch. Loki gasps with the intense contact. "Are you producing sparkles?" he asks but Thor shakes his head.

"No," Thor he replies, "I’m not doing anything."

Loki swallows and grabs Thor’s fingers tighter, holding them firmly. "I think I have an idea about the nature of the venom Thanos used," he murmurs. This is going to be difficult and he tries to choose his words wisely.

"Tell me," Thor encourages him quietly, starting to stroke Loki’s fingers, a feeling so pleasurable that Loki sighs.

"It’s similar to the Soul Stone on Vormir," Loki continues, savoring Thor’s gentle caresses. He pauses, trying to find a way to tell Thor the truth. "Thanos thought that there is nobody left who loves me. And that the venom inside of me would kill me slowly because of that."

Thor nods. "But there is me," he states the obvious.

"Yes, there is you," Loki confirms.

They remain silent after that confession, both of them deep in thoughts, but their hands stay connected the entire time.

"What is happening here?" Thor finally whispers.  
  
Loki faces Thor, playing with his fingers. "You know that quite well," he repeats.

"But I need to hear it," Thor adds.

Loki looks at him, not breaking the eye contact. "You can heal me, Thor. You can heal me with your love."


	9. Kissed. (Thor)

"I can’t love you," Thor answers in panic, "I’m not… I love you only as a member of my family!"

"Liar," Loki whispers and Thor knows that he is right.

"You’re my brother, Loki, we can’t do… other things…" Thor stammers through another weird explanation.

"Liar," is all that Loki repeats, sitting up so that he can face Thor.

Thor swallows. "I know that you are adopted and that we are not related by blood but there is no way that we…"

"Shut up, Thor Odinson," Loki breathes and kisses Thor.

The kiss takes Thor completely by surprise. He’s stiff at first but his body is responding to Loki’s lips rather quickly, his hands suddenly in Loki’s hair, his tongue in Loki’s mouth.

"Yes," Loki breathes and Thor can see that he visibly recovers, that his pale skin turns a bit brighter, that his body strengthens.

"Wait," Thor says, breaking the kiss. "Are you just using me to heal?"

Loki takes a deep breath. And then another. "No," he finally admits.

Thor raises an eyebrow.  
  
"I didn’t tell you everything about the venom," Loki continues before he hesitates.

"Spill it out," Thor urges him, torn between kissing Loki or just punching him.

"Well, your love as an antidote for my disease…" Loki struggles to reveal the truth before he eventually takes a heart. "Your love as an antidote only works because I’m in love with you too."

 

***

 

Thor doesn’t trust his own ears. He opens his mouth just to close it again because he can’t say anything right now. His brain works painfully slowly until he reaches the conclusion that changes his entire world. "Did you just say that you love me?" he croaks out.

Loki shrugs at first, but then, he nods.

"That is… wow," Thor is at loss for words.

Loki looks at him intensively as if he was waiting for something.

Thor closes his eyes, releasing his feelings for the very first time. It’s overwhelming, crashing even but he cannot stop it anymore. "I love you too, Loki."

They kiss, gently this time, making good use of their tongues.

"What do we do now," Thor asks, his forehead resting against Loki’s. "Do you think that the venom is already neutralized?"

"I cannot feel it in my body as long as you are close to me," Loki admits. "But I don’t know if it will stay this way or if we…." He doesn’t finish his sentence.

Thor wants to know what Loki meant, having no clue what he wanted to say. "If we…?" he asks but Loki shakes his head.

"Forget it," he says.

"I clearly won’t forget it," Thor insists, stroking Loki’s handsome face.

Loki glances at the wall. "I don’t know if we have to love each other physically before I am completely healed."

"Oh." Thor pauses. "You mean… you and me? Naked?"

Loki smiles, a sight that warms Thor’s heart. "I guess it would work better when we are naked, yes."

"Okay. Should we do it now?"

Loki chuckles softly. "We’re in no hurry, darling," he says, wrapping a strand of Thor’s hand around his finger.

Thor’s throat runs dry, in equal parts because of the nickname and because of the soft gesture.

"Besides," Loki continues, "I really don’t want to be intimate with you for the first time in Clint’s house. Take me to a place where we are undisturbed, Thor. Please."

Thor cannot remember Loki begging for something ever before and his heart clenches. "I will. Just give me some time to arrange everything."

"As long as it takes," Loki whispers, his eyes glowing brighter than molten fire.


End file.
